 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Everytime I see your picture, I just can't seem to do anything but melt. You're eyes are like blue ice. So beautiful and rare. You are so wonderful, and you don't know what you do to me. I love it when you say hello, and I hate it when you say goodbye. I wish the moments that we do talk, are the moments that will last forever. When we joke, you make me laugh so hard that my stomach hurts and my eyes water. When you flirt and tell me nice things, I don't ever wanna say anything, just so that you could keep going. You make me feel special in a million and one ways. There's not enough words in the world to explain how I feel about you. I don't know if this is love, but if it is, I never want it to fade. Sometimes I am afraid to tell you all that I want to say. Sometimes I just wanna scream it to the world. I've never in my whole life felt like that. It's so confusing, and I'm torn between liking the feeling and hating it. You just have this way about you that is so carefree and loving, and I can't help but notice that. And with that, you bring the best of me out. I don't ever want to loose that feeling. I know you've been hurt, and I don't want to replace anyone special in your life; but maybe I can be a special someone in your life. I will always try my best to be there for you. Always there to make you laugh when you cry, make you calm when you're mad, make you scream when you don't want to. Push you to your limits and beyond when you need that extra push. I'm not much of a perfect person; I'm clumsy and clueless sometimes, and I have bad hair days, and sometimes I look like a hobo, but my love is everlasting, and there's no one in the word I'd rather give it to. For you, I would bring you the whole night sky, I'd sell my very soul and not regret it, if it meant just one precious moment with you. I can't tell you how scared I am right now, telling you all this. I get weak in the knees, and my heart starts pounding real fast when I see that you are on. (And it's not just because you are one of the most sexiest person I had ever seen in my life) But because you mean so much to me. When I talk to you, I feel like a somebody, and when I'm talking to you everything just seems okay. I can be who I want to be, and I know that you wont judge me for that. When I'm not talking to you, the world just seems to collapse on me, and I feel like I can't breathe. I want to be with you. But I know it just wouldn't work. And I don't know which hurts more. The fact that I can't be with you, or the fact that it's just better that we stay friends. I get jealous when I see other girls talking to you, and I don't get jealous. I even get jealous of my friends when they want to know everything about you, and they talk about you. (They're crazy and kinda stalkerish). I get scared that maybe they will try to take you away from me, even though you're not mine to take away, and they have no way of taking you. If that makes any sense. I don't know what to call this, but I know it's not just some little girl crush, or something like that. With you, it's okay to be weird, and flirty and not perfect. I don't have to pretend to like the world, I don't have to force a fake cheerful smile, and you make me feel beautiful inside and out. No one's ever made me feel like that, not even Jesse. When he cheated on me, I swore out guys and love, and just kept everything on a flirt to flirt basis. Then he died and my whole world crashed. Then out of nowhere, you came into my life, by me browsing through some people on the VF website. I never thought once in my whole entire exsistence that you would respond to my corky, awkward message. But you did, and that even put a smile on my face. Then when we started to speak more and more, I began to feel that little twinge in my heart, and that butterfly feeling in my stomach. And then it all but crashed down on me, that yes, I could love again. Then I didn't know what to do with myself, but at least try to be normal, or at least normal for me! ^__^
But none the less, you brought something back into my life, that I never thought I could ever have again. You make me happy, and loving, and forgiving, and all honestly weak and strong at the same time. In short I just wanted you to know all this!
Current Location: my room
Current Mood:  loved
Current Music: just my thoughts
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Torn between friendship and lies,
I sit and wonder why,
I look in the mirror and see nothing but betrayal,
If this is payment I get for helping then I don't want it,
Those words keep playing on in my head,
And when I look again,
It's not anger or even betrayal that I see,
I see hurt and pain,
Tears from and the blood seeps down my arms,
I know now,
I guess I am not worth it,
I tried to understand,
I listened to your suffering and I gave you my advice,
But I guess I should just listen to my own words,
Regret I hope you feel,
Punishment I hope you recieve,
When you look into the mirror,
I hope you look real hard and see the pain I feel,
But I guess I'm just not worth it. Current Location: Alone
Current Mood:  angry
Current Music: Pieces- Sum 41
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tears have fallen down my face as the bruise sets in,
Nightmares form in my head as you come at me,
Your hands so bitter, and so strong that wrap around my wrist and neck,
The blood seeps through my clothes from the knife and broken glass,
The welts form a constant reminder of the collision of your fist and my skin,
Chunks of hair missing from when you pulled it out,
Torn clothes from trying to get away,
And the yelling never ceases to stop,
It just keeps gets louder and louder,
Limping from the broken leg,
Fear constantly in my eyes as you put your hands ready for the beating,
The words that come,
That sting so deep,
And the scars that tell the story,
The distance from people shows the pictures of a sad song,
And the life that nobody can relate to,
And the feeling of pain has never been overcame,
I am sore, weak and hungry,
Scared to say something stupid,
Or do so with action,
The stains of blood and tears make the art work on my pillows and blankets,
And the ever so watchful eye that knows everything that you do,
And the camra that records every second, minutes, and hours, and days,
The continuation of a beating hand. Current Location: somewhere only time can tell
Current Mood:  sore
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
These wings of mine I fly away Fly so high Fly to where you are I am left for broken But I make it out I'm not like the others I have a longing to be free So I take the chance And I make a scene Then I jump and spread my wings Current Mood: amused
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
secretsofapoet's journal
Previous
